Tonight was an OK night at the club. Of course it was me and my friends. Then I saw Zebbie, I haven’t seen him in forever. After that I saw London I haven’t seen him in like 3 yrs. Weird how people still look the same after such a long time. Man, I’m so satisfied with life right now. *pulls up a beach chair* I’m chillaxing. I love my job. I love the direction I’m going in in life. I love my lifestyle. There’s a couple things I wish I could change, but life isn’t perfect. I’m having breakthroughs with my mom and shiet. No more watching Intervention for me.

I feel like I’m losing touch with the closest friends I’ve ever had. At first it bothered me, like no one’s returning my calls, text, nada. But it’s something I’ve come to grips with. We’re growing apart. I know when we talk I always get irritated how immature they act sometimes. So I’m happy just going to the club with Crystal F & Dennise until I bump into someone I haven’t seen in a while. It’s always a surprise when I get to the club. The last time I went I saw Poogie & Mark. I saw Mark again tonight. He’s such a loser ;] I miss having French class with him! He’s such a pot head <3

Sometimes I wish I was boo’d up at the club :[ I just love how I keep the people that aren’t worth it in my life and the people who try to fight to keep in touch with me I always let go. Like right now. I know “he’s” not about shit, but I love reading his texts. I just miss hanging out with him and he’s my first REAL crush besides Marcus. I just wish he would’ve stayed fallen off of the Earth because it makes it that much harder to find someone who’s actually worth it. He said we had a lot in common, and it’s true. But I feel and I know that I’m only convienent for him right now. I know by next week I’ll say something to push him away and I won’t hear from him for another couple weeks *rolls eyes*. He’s such a sweetie but he’s sensitive. I already told him how I felt and how I still feel but I can’t deal with this “confused” shit. I’m confused, but I know one thing is clear I’ve always wanted him. I keep opening myself up to the wrong negros. I learned my lesson after Marcus. I keep allowing myself to get hurt. UGH! I just wish some guys would listen and actually think.

I’m listening to Tonight - Lykke Li <33333333

I just want my own place. Hopefully I can achieve that when/if I get promoted to full-time. I’d be able to afford it. I just wanna live on my terms again.

Oh yeah, I decided I’m not going to college yet this year. I’m thinking about picking up another job til January.